Title: In This Very Night

Author: Anna, annawoerner[at]gmx[dot]net

Completed: Yes

Words: 621

In This Very Night

In this very night she was a ballad, a melancholy song above my crotch. She lifted herself off my lap with slow agony before sinking down again. She rode me. Not demanding. Not impatient. Not in this night.

I watched how she moved upon me. Her rhythm was hypnotic. Synchronized breathing went along with our movements. We made love in minor.

I just laid there and let it happen. I was rock hard inside her – like a machine without any kind of feeling, just acting under orders. The handcuffs bound me at my place.

Fragments of rational thoughts dashed through my mind, sank in, tried hard to make sense but couldn’t. They could not be united, just like we couldn’t.

I found no words. I failed so completely that it hurt. I was a god without heaven, a bird without wings, a pitiful poet who kept searching for just one right syllable.

She was the reason of my unbearable craving, the love I never had hoped for, the basement in a crazy, anchorless world. She was the wrecking ball that turned massive walls in little chunks. She was so beautiful, so strong, so perfect and yet so abhorrent, so fragile, so inchoate. I wanted to break her heart, rip it out of her chest and give her mine, hoping she would understand.

Her hips were dancing against me as though fighting an oncoming wave. She drew me into her haven only to push me away again.

My fingers clenched in the sheets. I felt heat rolling off my body in waves, the muscles in my legs trembling. It was disturbing. I did not want to end it. I wanted to delay this as long as I could - Until the end of days and beyond. God should not judge me yet.

She moaned and bucked against me, her thrusts becoming fast and demanding. She was coming. She was coming so she could leave. She became faster, only looking for her own release. My satisfaction ranks second.

How willingly I would have abstained.

Still the impulse was too intensive, too strong to resist. Her movements were creating sloppy, slapping sounds. She gasped, roamed me, raided and pillaged me. Fucked me. Fucked my soul. Fucked my love.

She took everything I had and I gave it to her with a single roar while I fought back tears.

When it was over, she collapsed against my shoulder. Her long blond hair fell in my face and covered the tracks she refused to look at. Her breasts rested sweaty on my skin.

When I wanted to kiss her, she pushed me away and looked at me. Her gaze deadlocked with mine. In a blink, everything was gone. Her green eyes were icy lakes. Shock frosted.

I felt her breath on my face. I wanted to say something. I had to say something, something that would convince her otherwise. Just one word. Any word. But she pressed her forefinger against my lips. She was right. Everything had been said before. It was over. One last time, that was the arrangement.

She edged herself off my lap. I whimpered as my erection slipped out of her, but didn’t say anything. I was shrunken. I was empty. Everywhere.

She headed for the bathroom. What she had never done before, she did in this very night. She showered before she left. She washed me away. Prepared herself for something new.

I felt like a stone, unable to move. I just laid there and stared at the door. She entered the bedroom again. Clothed. She was so beautiful. She stepped at my side and bent down. One last look, one last kiss. She threw the little key on the pillow.

The End